So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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