Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
