you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
