are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
