I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
