I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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