what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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