He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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