she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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