All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
