He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
