i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
