ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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