so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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