Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
