just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
