I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
