So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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