Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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