What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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