i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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