im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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