I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
