Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
