next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
