Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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