everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
