Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
