put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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