I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
