so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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