his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
