I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
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she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
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This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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