I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
