I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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