I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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