Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
