Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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