shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
