My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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