i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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