Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
FUCK WHALES
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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