Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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