Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
