While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
