I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
