distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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