I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
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