You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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