we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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