Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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