I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
