rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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