so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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