I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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