who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
