We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
