so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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