i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
