btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize