Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
