We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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