I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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