Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
