I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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