the day after is always just damage control
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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